This email to my family magically appeared on my screen when I opened my email today. It was written for Thanksgiving 2012, when my mother was recovering from her first heart attack at our house. I was working once again. Little did we know I was about to be gobsmacked with multiple lung cancer tumors that had metastasized to my brain. I had the first brain surgery in early November, 2012. I have been “cancer free” again for five years now. It’s appropriate that I remember, and send up prayers of gratitude for my life and my family today. I love you all, even if I haven’t met you.
Good evening family,
I think Mama is getting settled in. We are all just hanging out. It isn’t quite what we imagined when we made this plan, but its working. I have to laugh because I think Mom thought she would have the day to herself to read or watch what she wants on TV, then just see me in the evening. Immediately, it became her, Bill and me 24 – seven. Oh, well, she is adjusting pretty well. We all are.
How am I adjusting? I’ll tell you the truth, it all happened so suddenly, I didn’t even have time to think about any of it. I just wanted the pain to go away. If that meant I needed brain surgery, it was a fine tradeoff. Of course, now I am a bit heartbroken, because no matter what, I am now stage 4, which means I will LIVE with cancer the rest of my life. It is no longer an option that it can be a thing of the past.
One thing that helps A LOT is that by my experience, I know that doctors don’t really know anything about this condition. My doctor here in Riverton even got the report from my oncologist that said I am CANCER FREE as of Oct. 31. Too much, huh? My blood tests said no cancer, my scans said no cancer – It took an MRI of my brain to find them, and it isn’t standard of care in lung cancer. Because one tumor was positioned over my cerebellum, it revealed itself before it got too large. Right now, they think I had a total of three. The oncologist says he may put me on an oral chemo called Tarceva, but I don’t know if I want to take it. People have survived with and without it for quite some time. (My oncologist says at this point, I have from several weeks to several decades. I figure that puts me in with the majority of people on this earth.) There are also vaccines in phase 3 trials. Some should be approved in 2013. They are pretty promising, too. So I have some praying to do. If course, I am open to any suggestions. (I am not on any targeted therapy medication now)
I go back next Monday for a gamma knife treatment, (rmgk.com) then…. who knows? Today I’m feeling pretty good, so that is what I have to focus on day by day. Its fun to have Mom around. She makes me laugh! I don’t hurt now, so for that I am grateful. And, if I have to wait to waste away physically, that will be a good couple years, because I am FAT! Bill is taking me for walks, too. I’m pretty sure mom could walk with us, with her fine walker that Patty ordered for her, on our street, but she says NO!
Overall, things could be worse. This is the hand I’ve been dealt. I had 30 staples pulled out of my head today, and it HURT!
I am so looking forward to Thanksgiving. All my sons and their families will be here. Gabe and Belynn offered to do the major cooking. Patty and I will fill in however we want, or not. Daniel is also coming. I am grateful for that. If any of you want to show up, feel free! Patty and Daniel, invite your children. Just bring a blankie and pillow! Bill says we can get rooms at Holiday Inn for you, and the kids can swim, so keep it in mind. I love all my children and grandchildren so much. I am truly blessed. They are beautiful! Either way, bring your suits. The hot tub is fine!
I think we will make a basketball game in Denver on Sunday night. Bill loves basketball. Then, my appointment will take most of Monday, November 29th, outpatient. He will return to work he said on December 3rd.
I had an order for home health care, and got Mom started, too. Here, though, they have never heard of helping with light housework. I suggested they call Rawlins to see how they justified it. I just can’t get around to doing mom’s laundry right now. Maybe later. I also have a cleaning woman who was kind enough to do mom’s laundry last week.
Everyone have a great week. Love you!
My Second Wind 